Preface


Greetings,

Writing has been an enjoyable process ever since I began toying with prose, keeping journals, and corresponding with friends during the college daze. The philosophical/mystical/whatever-you-want-to-call-them thoughts that started popping into mind since 1989 have always been very out-of-the-blue spontaneous. Nothing planned or forced about them. They are being shared on the off chance that others may find them of interest, though, quite frankly, it really does not matter if no one else ever even reads them, for I am first and foremost my own audience. I got mine, so to speak, and it is, as it has ever been, up to each to discern their own on their own. There are really no followers in the ultimate quest, only earnest seekers who waylay their desires and fears enough to discern that which is the end to all doubt. “Yay” if it is your fate to figure it out.  “Oh well” if it is not. And “so it goes” either way, really.

“The Stillness Before Time” is the original 53-page work that was published in 1992, including mostly aphorisms, a few essays, and lists of movies and books. Though a self-published version can be purchased at major booksellers, a downloadable copy is available, no charge, at the website below. There are also a variety of links to several Facebook pages, Twitter, a number of blogs, and links to other very powerful writings of the same ilk.

The Stillness Before Time

A 53-page PDF copy can be downloaded at:

"The Ponderings of Yaj Ekim" is the second published book, and is both blogged and available as a PDF download.

The Ponderings of Yaj Ekim

A 505-page PDF copy can be downloaded at:

“Breadcrumbs” is a blog of a more personal nature than the others, including the most recent aphorisms, a life resume, a photo album, some duplicates of essays and lists previously published, and other this-and-that silliness that has come to mind over time. All just to show I was a living, breathing, relativity mundane, oftentimes foolish mortal, same as everyone else. No need to make me more than I was.  No need for legends, no need for myths, no need for fables, no need for miracles, no need for any fictions to which history has so often given itself. This collection of thoughts is as full of the limited and arbitrary as anything else born of space and time, so please do not shape it into some dogmatic lunacy.  Use it as a launchpad, not an orbit.

The different sections can be accessed by clicking through older and newer posts at the bottom of each page, or by searching through the blog archives in the sidebar.


Breadcrumbs

An 1898-page PDF can be downloaded at:

And the latest blogging unpublished elsewhere:

The Unfolding Next Round (Current year unpublished elsewhere)

“The Return to Wonder” blog is a compendium of aphorisms not included in the three other works: The Stillness Before Time, The Ponderings of Yaj Ekim, and Breadcrumbs.  It totals 3,000 pages formatted in 300 ten-page chapters written since 1990-ish. It has been uploaded beginning with Chapter 265 up to Chapter 1, followed by Chapter 266 up to 300.

The Return to Wonder

Please note that this sort of wordplay is very random; all but impossible to put into any rational order. Probably best read it in bits and pieces in the here and there.  One of those open-to-any-page works. Especially well-suited for coffee shops, coffee tables, and porcelain thrones.

Also note that all writings are subject to annual updates and editing, so downloading current PDF copies every year or so might be a good idea if you want the most current version. This applies especially to the Breadcrumbs compendium, which is likely an ongoing work until the last wheezing breath.

If you find these many thoughts at all relevant, please feel free to share them with others who might also appreciate them, else they will more quickly slip back into the timeless oblivion from whence they came.

All the best,

M

P.S.  Regarding the name Yaj Ekim ... It is just a reverse spelling on the first and middle names ... Michael Jay Holshouser ... Mike Jay ... Yaj Ekim. Coincidently, make of it what you will, Yaj is an Indian boy’s name meaning worshipper, sacrifice, another name for Shiva, a sage. And Ekim is a Turkish name for October meaning “sowing” (of seeds).


Website

The Stillness Before Time

There is really only one Way.
It is without division or boundary.
It is without name or theology.
Awareness is its scripture,
Here now its venue,
You its witness,
Your life the journey.

A 53-page PDF copy can be downloaded at:

Main Blogs

The Stillness Before Time

The Ponderings of Yaj Ekim

The Return to Wonder

Breadcrumbs

PDF's

The Stillness Before Time (53 pages)

​The Return to Wonder​ (3006 pages)

Breadcrumbs (Compendium) (1898 pages)

Breadcrumbs 2018 (578 pages)

Breadcrumbs 2020 (222 pages)
http://www.thestillnessbeforetime.com/breadcrumbs2020.pdf

Conversations (309 pages)

Definitions (104 pages)
http://www.thestillnessbeforetime.com/definitions.pdf

Titles, Titles & More Titles (220 pages)
http://www.thestillnessbeforetime.com/titlestitlesandmoretitles.pdf

Ditties for the Bluegrass Pyre (15 pages)

Once Upon a Christmas (1 page)

http://www.thestillnessbeforetime.com/onceuponachristmas.pdf


(Please note that all writings are subject to annual updates and editing, so downloading current PDF copies every year or so might be a good idea if you want the most current version.  This applies especially to the Breadcrumbs compendium, which is likely an ongoing work until the last wheezing breath)


Recent Breadcrumbs

The Unfolding Next Round (Current ditties unpublished elsewhere)

Standouts from "The Return to Wonder" Edit






Possible Last Words & Epitaphs

List of Top Books for the Up and Coming

The Unfolding Next Round (Current year ​unpublished elsewhere)

Of the Human Journey

Got God?

Ten Reflections

Standouts from the Return to Wonder Edit

Links

Life Resume

Photo Gallery

Books

Movies

Quotes Worth Pondering

Spam Responses (a.k.a. WTF Is This Shit!?) 

Facebook

Michael Holshouser

Michael's Little Warehouse of All Things Amusing, Absurd & Profound

Le Fichier Circulaire de Michaël (Michael’s Circular File)

Yaj Ekim

Hughson Union High School Class of '72

Blogger


Twitter

Michael Holshouser

Odd and Ends

Final Exit

The Blind Men and the Elephant

The Joyful Curmudgeon

Of A Philosophical Nature

Quotes, Quotes & More Quotes

The Four Agreements

Le Fichier Circulaire de Michaël

50 Rules Kids Won't Learn in School

12 Rules You Can Live By

How to Work in Any Environment
http://howtoworkinanyenvironment.blogspot.com/

Once Upon a Christmas
https://onceuponchristmas.blogspot.com/

Ditties for the Bluegrass Pyre
https://dittiesforthebluegrasspyre.blogspot.com

Election 2016: The Rise (and Fall?) of Donald Trump
https://theriseandfallofdonaldtrump.blogspot.com/

Eight Translations of the Ashtavakra Gita

The Heart of Awareness (Byrom)

Ashtavakra Gita (Marshall)

Bitten by the Black Snake (Schoch)

A Duet of One (Balsekar)

Ashtavakra Gita (Richards)

Astavakra Samhita (Wood)

Ashtavakra Gita (Vedic Scriptures)
Translations of Other Ancient Writings

Ashtavakra Gita: I Am Shiva

Tao Te Ching: Verse One

Tao Te Ching (Marshall)

Avadhut Gita (Shastri)

Song of the Avadhut (Abhayananda)

Atma Bodha (Chinmayananda)

The Essence of the Ribhu Gita (Ramamoorthy & Nome)

Yoga Vasishta Sara (Ramasramam)

Crest-Jewel of Discrimination (Madhavananda)
http://crest-jewelofdiscrimination.blogspot.com/

Mandukya Upanishad & Mandukya Karika of Gaudapada (Panoli)

Gaudapada: Advaita Vedanta’s First Philosopher (Jones)
https://advaitavedantasfirstphilosopher.blogspot.com/

Translations of Ancient Writings by Bart Marshall

Writings by Bart Marshall

Verses Regarding True Nature
https://versesregardingtruenaturemarshall.blogspot.com

One Hundred Two Haiku
https://onehundredtwohaikumarshall.blogspot.com


* * * * * * * * * *

Breadcrumbs
Bits and Pieces from a Dream of Time
© Michael J. Holshouser 2015
World Rights Reserved

Possible Last Words & Epitaphs


I came, I saw, I puttered

* * * *
Thank god it is over

* * * *
Finally, a good night’s sleep

* * * *
Non fui non sum non curo
(I was not, I am not, I care not)

* * * *
Didn’t ask to be here, never prayed to be stayin’

* * * *
Well, that was harsh

* * * *
Pffft!

* * * *
A tolerably good show.
Thanks for being in one here-now or another.
Au revoir and bon voyage.

* * * *
I told you I didn’t feel well

* * * *
Home, sweet home

* * * *
To the last dime

* * * *
Finally, some real rest

* * * *
Adios, amigos!

* * * *
So long, see you in your dreams

* * * *
Hooah!

* * * *
Like riding a bike

* * * *
We come, we go, but Earth abides

* * * *
Oblivion or bust!

* * * *
So it goes strikes again

* * * *
Th-th-th-that's all folks!

* * * *
It is done

* * * *
Never again

* * * *
Suffer me not another day

* * * *
Sum quod eris
(I am what you will be)

* * * *
Please, please, no, no! Don’t send me back!

* * * *
It has to end someday, why not today?

* * * *
Power … Fame … Fortune … Where art thou now?

* * * *
Just too fucking annoying anymore

* * * *
Don’t know, don’t care

* * * *
No more tomorrow, no more yesterday,
Naught but the unborn eternal.
Yay oh yay oh yay.

* * * *
Resting in peace

* * * *
Vanity, Vanity … Where art thou now?

* * * *
Home again, naturally

* * * *
I came, I saw, I died

* * * *
Lived and learned, died anyway

* * * *
See ya in hell, boys and girls.
No, wait, aren't we already here?

* * * *
Bon voyage

* * * *
There is no fate which cannot be surmounted by scorn ~ Albert Camus

* * * *
Done, done, the damage done

* * * *
Goodbye, absurd world

* * * *
Legacy … Posterity … Pfft!

* * * *
Home at last

* * * *
Look, Mom, I’m a worm now!

* * * *
Finally!

* * * *
Ciao ciao

* * * *
There’s no place like home

* * * *
Getting old was getting old

* * * *
Once was enough

* * * *
Go away kid, ya bother me

* * * *
One life was more than enough

* * * *
Now only worms and crawly things have to put up with me

* * * *
As if it all never happened

* * * *
Only too happy to let it all go

* * * *
More was no longer necessary anyway

* * * *
Neither alive nor dead, I Am

* * * *
So long ago, so far away

* * * *
I did it my way

* * * *
The Old Man and the Sea

* * * *
I was bored

* * * *
Was tired of being a cancer cell, anyway.

* * * *
Camping out in oblivion

* * * *
A curious show, already forgotten

* * * *
Nope, still not missing it

* * * *
Peter Pan is dead, long live Peter Pan

* * * *
Got the gist,
Good-bye, shalom,
Cheerio, adios, ciao, aloha,
Sayonara, bon voyage, adiós, adieu,
Arrivederci, auf wiedersehen,
Au revoir, ta-ta for now.

* * * *
Despite all the doors, there is only one exit

* * * *
It really does not matter

* * * *
Heaven is the absence of pain and remorse and guilt

* * * *
It is what it is

* * * *
Once upon a dream

* * * *
Why wait for the Fates to decide my end by some other foul hand?
Whose hand was better suited for my own departure than my own?

* * * *
If I was a serial killer, I got away with it

* * * *
Peter Pan does not do old

* * * *
Feeding daisies

* * * *
Holding on to nothing

* * * *
It was time to join the Dead Poets Society

* * * *
Creepies and crawlies and dust am I

* * * *
Didn’t feel like waiting

* * * *
This is what the AMA did for me

* * * *
Couldn’t take it anymore

* * * *
Enough was enough

* * * *
The AMA can’t get me now

* * * *
Sally on, Brave Knight

* * * *
Get out while the gettin’s good

* * * *
It was a good day to die

* * * *
The fate of many an AMA lab rat

* * * *
My kind of heaven

* * * *
No, it was not COVID-19

* * * *
No worries, no bothers here

* * * *
Why wait?

* * * *
This is what happens when you trust the AMA

* * * *
This is what happens when you trust the government

* * * *
The world and me were both done with each other

* * * *
Being a human being wasn’t all it was cracked up to be

* * * *
Meh

* * * *
I’m over it

* * * *
Try Not
Do, or Do Not
There is No Try

* * * *
Another fourth-quarter loss

* * * *
The seed is dead, long live the seed

* * * *
Finally, a good rest

* * * *
Toodle-oo

* * * *
About time

* * * *
Ta-ta for now

* * * *
I was tired of this world anyway

* * * *
Oblivion, my favorite

* * * *
This dream, this cosmos, no longer exists

* * * *
Gone, gone, the damage done

* * * *
Thank you, Mister Reaper, thank you

* * * *
Master of Nothing

* * * *
Cha-Ching!

* * * *
Bzzz bzzzz zz z z z

* * * *
Peace at last

* * * *
Hasta luego, indifferent world
TTFE: Ta-ta, forever

* * * *
I buried who, and who buried me

* * * *
Did not know, did not care

* * * *

Michael Jay Holshouser


Also known as:


Michael

Mike

Jay

M

007

Ged

Holtz

Specs

Mowgli

Paladin

Huck Finn

Lone Ranger

Joe Everyman

Johnny Appleseed

Andrew James Kurtz

The Joyful Curmudgeon

Sparrowhawk

Jester Amok

Muad'Dib

Peter Pan

Zen Mike

Phaedrus

Sisyphus

Yaj Ekim


November 14, 1953

to

To Be Determined


Taxi driver

Philosopher

Photographer

Forklift driver

Jack of Many

Hierophant

Madman

Sage

Fool